How The Tabloids Work – Sports Satire

Posted: January 18, 2011 in Media

Leading football player, Steven Paidtomuch, looks to be heading for divorce, SamSport can EXCLUSIVELY! reveal.

Rumours of unrest within the striker’s marriage appear to be true, as a few inside sources have stepped forward to reveal the extent of the damage within the household, after the player was seen TALKING to a woman in a club last week.

This rendezvous was sealed with a passionate embrace (hug) as well as the player giving his phone number (or autograph, whatever) to the mysterious woman.

Whilst no comment has been forthcoming from the Paidtomuch household, it is expected that this has been the final straw in a turbulent relationship that once saw wife Sandra spend a WEEK at her mother’s hospital bed.

She has also been seen spending time with friends lately, meaning she must despise spending time with Steven.

Reginald D Bobbins, a homeless man in York, some 200 miles from the Paidtomuch household, claimed that; “the marriage seems to be over definitely.

“Steven, or at least a man that looked like him, dropped some change for me 3 months ago and since then I feel we’ve established a psychic connection.

“I can tell from this telepathic connection that he is deeply unhappy in the marriage and is considering filing for divorce. It’s the distrust of his wife that’s driving him mad.

“He also dislikes the puppy they bought recently.”

Despite the fact that the Paidtomuch’s only own a cat, this sounds like damning testimony to us.

Even closer to the situation is ‘Dusty’ Ford, who has sensed plenty of issues within the once happy home.

“I pick up the rubbish around that street and noticed that they hadn’t put theirs out last week.

“I once forgot to do that and the missus gave me the silent treatment for most of the day.

“Given that he earns 1,000 times more than me, I assume he’ll be in 1,000 times more trouble, which can only lead to an acrimonious divorce.”

With so much speculation over the future of this celebrity couple, people will want to know every move these two former lovebirds make.

Hence, SamSport will be stationing half of its photography team outside of their house in order to make sure their life becomes completely unbearable.

  1. Ash says:

    hahaha, brilliant satire piece

  2. How The Tabloids Work – Sports Satire « Sam Parker's Sports Talk…

    Here at World Spinner we are debating the same thing……

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